Hi,
As a person who has always fought for the support of my biological family, I'm surprised I've never thought to ask this question of yall here.
Does your biological family support your choice in doing game dev?
Through words?
Actions?
Financial help?
Other?
GeneralJist said:
As a person who has always fought for the support of my biological family
Care to expand on that? I always say that when somebody asks for personal stories, they should start by revealing their own story first.
BUY MY BOOK!!
It's not out yet… dam!
Whos fault is that? oh snap!
Well, to make it simple, my parents are divorced, and hate each other.
My dad is the classic workaholic engineer type. he's now 70 and still working, I ask him why, and he says he likes to keep his brain sharp.
I see him in person like twice a year. and talk to him on the phone like once every 2 weeks.
He has NEVER SUPPORTED my creative pursuits. And now finances are tight, I ask if he will pay for GDC, he balks at the cheapest pass ~$200, even though he's decently well off. He says he won't look at it seriously until I'm able to make a steady wage with my pursuits, as yall know, indie dev is notoriously challenging, and a hit or miss endeavor, even if you work for a AAA company.
It's oxymoronic to me, as he is an Electrical engineer, so know how tech companies operate. He's even worked for game adjacent companies and projects, such as Leap Frog, and Microsoft.
I know he cares, and he likes to tell me in words that he will help and support me, but when it comes time to put down the money and act, he doesn't follow through. He likes to say I will have all I need when he is dead and gone, and tries to control me with money.
He once told me, he didn't want to be that dad who just becomes the money gatekeeper, he wants a reel family. That was like 20 years ago, and like it or not, he has become that money gatekeeper.
I try to show him my work, my efforts, for 10 long years, he has never looked, and has said to me he doesn't want to look.
Now before you jump to the conclusion your thinking of, I will say he is the only member in my family who has supported me in being gay.
Most of my direct and extended family is too religious.
Also, something that I don't like mentioning about me, is I technically have a vision disability.
I don't mention this most of the time, is because I want to be treated as “normal”. This has always been supported by my dad, he understands life is harder for me than most people.
I even invited him to come with me to GDC, and he tells me he's not interested.
So that's my dad..
Now my mom?
Well, she is a whole nother story.
To make it simple, she is the type of person who organizes parties and events so she doesn't feel so lonely and empty inside.
She is incredibly selfish, but vails it in religiosity and gives to make herself feel better inside.
She also doesn't look at my work, she saw it once a while ago, didn't like it, and has chosen to not change her mind on the subject.
She works for the church. And pre covid, she used to be a travel agent. Before that, she used to be an IC layout designer like before me and my brother were born, she did give up that career to raise us though.
She has been through a lot, but she likes to blame me for her issues, she is a borderline hoarder, and I suspect she has her own mental health challenges that she refuses to acknowledge.
My brother?
well, he is the boring type, by that I mean, he has bought hook line and sinker the expectations and lies of society. He has a prestigious stable career, he just got married to his 1st love last year, and he never i mean never talks about his emotions, at least never to me. he has never looked at my stuff either, until one day I said we were transitioning to a business. He's passively supportive, and recently said he wants me to add him to all my stuff, but I'm wary, as I don't want him to judge my team, and I don't need his approval. He also doesn't have time. He's a doctor, so ya.
All of them have painted me into a box, and refuse to realize I'm anything more.
wow, this has become surprisingly personal.
Some how, none of them understand the value of validation, and on retrospect, I'm not surprised I ended up having mental health issues.
Now, my extended family?
lets jus say they have painted me into the poor disabled box.
None of them ever ask me about my stuff either.
Most of them are from Texas, which if any of you know, it's not a surprise.
A few years ago I mentioned to my cousin I was writing a book, and he was like “where did you get the idea to write a book?” As if he never realized that was a valid choice in life.. I blame the level of religiosity in Texas.
but ya.
Sigh,,
This is just the tip of the iceberg that is me.
Of the two main things my parents did for my career (which didn't head towards games which was as much a personal choice as anything), one was to buy me a C64 that I learned to program on. They had no concept of what would be a useful, affordable educational computer. It was sufficient for me to learn a lot on my own initiative. There was a lot of luck in that purchase. The second thing was they helped with 1 year of my college which again included a new computer to program on. I don't think I particularly ever tried to show off my work on games or whatever but then that's more my personality. Year 2, I was on my own. I don't know if my parents were able to help out my siblings the same way. I kinda suspect not but their paths were different from mine.
My kids have all sorts of creative things they'd like to pursue. They want me to buy them everything they see (or so it feels like). I can't. For that matter if it seems like something of a passing interest, I'm not so inclined to indulge their request. They have been fortunate enough though to receive their own Chromebooks though (way younger than I ever intended) and like I had with the C64, they try to express their creativity through their own initiative and experiments. Though they also get the benefit of occasional input from me, I mostly stand back and let them have at whatever free tools I've been able to help them find. My wife and I are trying save for their education. I don't know if it'll amount to 1 year, 2 or more for tuition or anything when the time comes. It affects our daily life and what we can give our children in those daily lives. Big credit to my wife for figuring that stuff out because I never would've thought I could save what we have. My kids see our home as a utopian palace they never want to leave. I see... well suffice it to say that I see seemingly endless problems that I don't want to burden them with. I don't know what my kids are going to ask of me when they hit years where they strike out on their own. I'm hoping to have given them good foundations and tools by then.
My family always knew I had creative tendencies/aspirations. While there was some skepticism about my moving to California (on my own dime) without first having a job lined up, my family has always been supportive of my career in games. In fact, my nephew pursued and obtained a career in games, with full family support from the beginning.
My Family don't support me don't ever, but I don't care, I want what is I want and I don't stop it because don't have who support.
